The things we tell ourselves

In the wait between my interview and actually finding out about my promotion I had several episodes of thinking 'have I done the right thing?' Maybe, I thought to myself, I actually wasn't really well suited to this new job, and I would struggle to do it. I had wanted this new job for a long time, but I'm good at my current job - why should I stir things up?

So when I got my promotion (which officially took effect today - just call me Assistant Director), I expected to feel nervous. I even tried to feel nervous. But it wasn't really working. I felt excited. I still feel excited.

So I think the 'do I really want to do this?' must just have been some kind of subconscious defence mechanism, an internal fox anticipating sour grapes, trying to protect me on the chance that I wouldn't get the job.

It's funny how clear this becomes in hindsight.