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angharad_gamThere's a number of things I've been wanting to post about for a little while, but I haven't had the energy (physical or mental) and now I'm forgetting what most of them were. But don't be surprised if you suddenly see a heap of posts. As noted in the previous post I was ill again - last Wednesday and Thursday I completely lost my voice. So far just viral, although with the way I am getting up and expelling vast quantities of mucous (yummo) every morning I do wonder if it's not become sinusitis.
Anyway, I have just started reading a book about swearing of all things - namely Filthy English by Peter Silverton. And it's quite timely because I have been thinking a little bit about swearing lately. Partly because of discussions on some blogs I am in the habit of reading about tone trolling and politeness, and partly because of thinking about the way I police my children's language.
I should note that I don't swear much, although I certainly do now a lot more than I used to (especially since having kids, funnily enough). This was mostly upbringing. My parents didn't swear much, and English people don't swear anywhere near as much as Australians or New Zealanders. My mother, in particular, policed swearing very strictly, and emphasised that nice people don't swear - an impression that has stuck with me very strongly. By nice she didn't mean proper or respectable, as some people often do, but virtuous, kind, etc - actually nice. I absorbed this, as noted, and also later picked up those other common arguments against not swearing centring around it being unintellectual, demonstrative of poor vocabulary, unimaginative, etc.
Over the years I have come to realise that much of this is not really true. The nice thing is obviously complete bollocks, and there are many deeply imaginative and highly creative uses of four letter words out there. So I am not particularly shocked or distressed by other people swearing around me, although I still don't do it much myself. Unless it's children. I always found foul-mouthed children particularly shocking, although with our spate of neighbours even this has become more sadness than shock.
Maybe this is why I'm so strict about my children's language. Or maybe it's just that we tend, in parenting, to copy our parents a lot. You would think we would learn from our own parents' mistakes (not that I think mine made too many - I'm pretty fortunate in that regard), but no we just go on repeating them. The thing is, I don't feel like I have a good reason for banning certain words (others I am less circumspect about - all my children are banned from using 'gay' as an insult for instance, which is still a thing apparently), apart from these specious reasons of niceness, politeness etc.
And, the other day, when thinking about tone-trolling and so on, it occurred to me that perhaps the policing of language is extremely classist (as is much of etiquette when it comes down to it). Which made me even more uncomfortable about doing it. But then this book has vaguely hinted that the attribution of foul mouths to the working classes to be a bit of myth (in the 'more on this later' vein - I hope I get to that bit before I have to take the book back to the library). I when I think about it, my mother's working class family were not exactly grand swearers. So maybe that's not a thing to be concerned about.
Which leaves me ... nowhere in particular really. Any thoughts on this issue?
Anyway, I have just started reading a book about swearing of all things - namely Filthy English by Peter Silverton. And it's quite timely because I have been thinking a little bit about swearing lately. Partly because of discussions on some blogs I am in the habit of reading about tone trolling and politeness, and partly because of thinking about the way I police my children's language.
I should note that I don't swear much, although I certainly do now a lot more than I used to (especially since having kids, funnily enough). This was mostly upbringing. My parents didn't swear much, and English people don't swear anywhere near as much as Australians or New Zealanders. My mother, in particular, policed swearing very strictly, and emphasised that nice people don't swear - an impression that has stuck with me very strongly. By nice she didn't mean proper or respectable, as some people often do, but virtuous, kind, etc - actually nice. I absorbed this, as noted, and also later picked up those other common arguments against not swearing centring around it being unintellectual, demonstrative of poor vocabulary, unimaginative, etc.
Over the years I have come to realise that much of this is not really true. The nice thing is obviously complete bollocks, and there are many deeply imaginative and highly creative uses of four letter words out there. So I am not particularly shocked or distressed by other people swearing around me, although I still don't do it much myself. Unless it's children. I always found foul-mouthed children particularly shocking, although with our spate of neighbours even this has become more sadness than shock.
Maybe this is why I'm so strict about my children's language. Or maybe it's just that we tend, in parenting, to copy our parents a lot. You would think we would learn from our own parents' mistakes (not that I think mine made too many - I'm pretty fortunate in that regard), but no we just go on repeating them. The thing is, I don't feel like I have a good reason for banning certain words (others I am less circumspect about - all my children are banned from using 'gay' as an insult for instance, which is still a thing apparently), apart from these specious reasons of niceness, politeness etc.
And, the other day, when thinking about tone-trolling and so on, it occurred to me that perhaps the policing of language is extremely classist (as is much of etiquette when it comes down to it). Which made me even more uncomfortable about doing it. But then this book has vaguely hinted that the attribution of foul mouths to the working classes to be a bit of myth (in the 'more on this later' vein - I hope I get to that bit before I have to take the book back to the library). I when I think about it, my mother's working class family were not exactly grand swearers. So maybe that's not a thing to be concerned about.
Which leaves me ... nowhere in particular really. Any thoughts on this issue?
